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Working with Addictive Patterns

Writer's picture: noblemasculinenoblemasculine

While addictive behaviors reduce the short term pain we experience in both the mind and the body, the longer term utilization of these activities often undermines our ability to align our actions and our values (do the important stuff).  Addiction also increases our belief that there is nothing we can do to change how we can work with our mind and our body.  We begin to feel stuck because the ways we calm and soothe ourselves is also causing us to feel like we can’t move forward.

 

It is difficult to connect with ourselves when we are so distracted.
It is difficult to connect with ourselves when we are so distracted.

As we manipulate our brain chemistry we begin to create a new normal, where our old life without our addictive behavior feels boring and uninteresting.  We begin to tell ourselves that we could never live without these addictive habits and that stopping them would only make things worse.  This narrative, while not true, only further serves to keep us stuck in our addictive patterns.

 

As we sink deeper into our addictive patterns, we lose our ability and willingness to feel the sensations and emotions that arise in our body.  These messages are critical for interpreting our experience and helping to guide us, but as we get further removed from our felt experience in our body, we become more lost and confused about how to care for ourselves, how to respond to others, and how to respond to our environment.


So how can we start to work with our mind and body to create the opportunity to step back from these addictive patterns that are undermining our life and our ability to experience a more lasting fulfillment?  The key is to find new ways of engaging with our mind and our body.  Here are some suggestions for practices that help us to learn to live without our addictive habits.

 

Practicing observing ourselves – Cultivate the ability to observe what is going on within the body and the mind, so we have awareness of the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and knowing that is always present when we pay attention.  This skill also allows us to track our cravings and urges.


Finding ways to calm and soothe ourselves other than resorting to our addictive pattern(s) – It is likely that these practices will not provide the same stimulation, relief or “high” but we need to start to find other ways of nurturing ourselves. There is great power in being able to calm and soothe your mind and body without reverting to the old patterns.  There are lots of practices and methods for doing this, so find the ones that work well for you and utilize them as needed.

 

Redirection for unhelpful thinking – The mind can be a helpful tool in doing the important stuff (researching, learning, strategizing, planning, organizing, visioning, creating, problem solving). The mind can also be detrimental to doing the stuff that is important to us (unhelpful mental noise like worry, doubt, indecision, negativity, perfectionism, and self-criticism).  In situations where the mind is not helping us to do the important stuff in our lives, we are well served to redirect our attention to the present moment by connecting to the body, our surroundings, and/or the task at hand (the important stuff).  Rarely do we get out of a mental trap by thinking more, even though that is what we often try to do!


Knowing your values - Knowing what is important and the interplay of these priorities in your life, allow us to form plans and take action that is important in our lives.  Addiction can seriously undermine our desire and capacity to create this alignment.

 

Doing the stuff that's important – Your actions need to be in alignment with your values.  If they are not, what is getting in the way?  The challenge always is to find a way to move through/around/past the things that are impeding the alignment of your values and actions.

 


These practices help us to more effectively work with our thinking and to feel more calm and confident in our body in a wide variety of experiences.  These skills also support us in being able to step away from our addictive patterns.  There is a symbiotic relationship between these practices and sobriety – the practices give you a real shot at stepping away from the addictive pattern, and in a complementary way, this abstinence/sobriety allows greater opportunity to practice, apply and refine the essential skills.



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