In a recent conversation with a client, the client was sharing about a pattern that they recognized in themselves, and which is common for all of us. At times where we feel tired, bored, stressed or down, our minds will often start asking the question, “What can I do to feel better?” This question then becomes our focus and we start looking for ways to change our experience by distracting ourselves, consuming substances, or altering our brain chemistry by engaging in activities that are more fun, exciting, or stimulating.
Through this conversation there was a new understanding that emerged. What if we have it backwards! Instead of looking for the answer to the question, “What can I do to feel better?” what if we tried a different approach? What if we noticed this old, familiar trap, and instead chose to focus on an activity that was important to us? It could be anything that is aligned with our values and engages our body and our senses – going for a walk, doing some breathing exercises, cleaning something, preparing a meal, or working on a project. It doesn’t really matter what the activity is. What is important is that we shift the focus away from the mind and the question of how to feel better, and instead focus on something tangible that we can connect with in real life.
If you try this, you will soon see that you start to feel better when you come back to the present moment and connect with your experience and with the world around you, and stop engaging with the mind and the question of how to feel better. Ironically, it is the engagement with the mind and the trap of trying to feel better that is creating the suffering. By refocusing our attention away from mental traps and onto living in the present moment we start to feel better. Less mind, more body, more senses. Give it a try!
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