Like most things in life, transitions have 3 main stages: a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning is marked by more uncertainty, overwhelm, and feelings of loss, sadness, and anger. By the ending stage, things are becoming clearer and there is more hope, energy, and direction. The mid-stage is a mixture of both that often cycles between the experiences of the initial stage and the end stage, and this cycling itself can be challenging and frustrating because of the doubt, confusion and fatigue that arise.
Here are some important tips to hold as we are moving through a transition...
Acknowledging the loss/ending and as much as possible staying present with
the experience
There can be a lot of uncomfortable feelings that arise as we move through a transition: anger, sadness, fear, confusion, overwhelm, and fatigue. Depending on the magnitude of the change, it can feel overwhelming at some points, and it is common to want to distract ourselves and/or avoid our situation. It is important that we are open to feeling the impact of the transition, and it is ok to take breaks from the process as needed.
Rest and Self-Care
Transitions can take a lot out of us, so it is important to find time to rest, to step away, and care for ourselves. Sometimes we believe that if we can push through the transition quickly that things will be easier, but often we need to pause, rest and wait for clarity before we can move forward in a meaningful way. The challenge is to be able to discern when we need rest and we are caught in an unhelpful pattern of avoidance. It is easy to become stuck and depressed if the feelings of overwhelm and the lack of clarity keep us in bed with our head under the covers for days on end.
Seeing the potential opportunity that may arise through this transition
The old adage, “when one door closes, another one opens” may not feel true in the midst of a big transition, but transition does create opportunities to reflect, reimagine, and re-create our relationships with ourselves and with others, and to realign our lives in important ways. It is important to be able to imagine new possibilities even if we can’t see how these changes could ever become reality.
Knowing what’s important
This is an important time to reflect on what is truly important in your life so we can purposefully create new opportunities that better align with our values. This allows us to more fully be the people we want to be, and to do the things that are important to us!
Creating a plan and new structure(s)
We often lose some or all of the structure that we had in our life before our transition began. It is important to create a plan and start to take steps forward at each stage of our transition. Early on this might be simple steps that allow us to care for ourselves and to remain connected with the people who are important. In the latter stages of transition, there will be more clarity on the action steps we need to take to create what is new and emerging.
Taking Action and Accountability
Resistance and avoidance can arise as we begin this journey towards the new. Finding ways to get started and to keep moving are important!
Working effectively with our body and our mind to create change that aligns with our values
There often are lots of old, unhelpful stories that arise as we are in transition. Sometimes we cling to the way things were and wish that we could go back. Sometimes we feel lost, confused and overwhelmed and we think that this transition is impossible, and that we will never emerge from it. All of this can get in the way of doing the things that are important for our self-care and to make progress towards the new. It is important that we find strategies for calming and nurturing ourselves, and also for motivating and engaging our body and our mind to do the things that are important.
Finding support
Transitions are challenging, so it is important that we find support. We need people in our corner who care and understand, but are also willing to challenge and encourage us to move in the direction of the new. Finding and nurturing these connections is crucial!
If you or someone you know is in a transition and would like to see how Balance Mind Coaching can support them to move through this period, please reach out for more information or to set up an initial call. There is no charge and no obligation for this call.
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